8 Comments
User's avatar
Rick_KC's avatar

Nicely done. It’s like Raging Bull, I was there in the ring.

JT Johnson—Horror Author's avatar

You write in a way that makes it easy to feel like the reader is in the room, sort of watching from their own place on the couch/in the corner—another great read!

Levi Polzin's avatar

It is probably my main goal in writing to fully ground the reader in the scene. I used to want to wow everyone with my wild ideas or abstractions, but I realized all that was wasted unless I immersed you in the world, made you care about it, and the people in it first.

Brian Thomas Martinez's avatar

It’s a good opening line. I don’t think any of my VCR’s had a playback or at least I never used it. But it worked well here. I’ll come back for part two.

Levi Polzin's avatar

It was a higher-end feature. Thanks for reading!

Brian Thomas Martinez's avatar

Yeah I wouldn’t know anything about such swanky products but I know no good will come from going back to see if everyone’s dead or in jail, just when I thought he was out.

Sea's avatar

This was so insanely good. I laughed many times and I restacked for the first time. It’s not for mums. Yeah, my mum got into your feed and broke my earlier and earnest promise. Disastrous I know but rest assured, on the other side of the globe as you slept, a household clutched it’s sides and barked laughter.

So yep, super chill, featherweight subscriber me, is just going to walk backwards slowly.

Levi Polzin's avatar

Let us not forget that our mothers were once young and vivacious.